Episode 12:
A Round Table Chat on Realigning Fatherhood: Bridging the gap between words & actions
This week, I’m bringing you a different kind of episode, where I’m joined by Mike Dyson and Erin Spahr in a thought-provoking discussion on an issue that struck a chord with my instagram audience: when fathers define themselves as "family men" but their actions tell a different story. My guests, Mike and Erin, bring their unique perspectives to shed light on why this might be happening, the consequences of this misalignment, and how fathers can find support to change.
Mike is the founder of Good Blokes Co, which empowers men and boys to breakdown restrictive gender norms and to step up as leaders of a healthier culture of masculinity. Mike facilitates Men's leadership retreats, father/son, mother/son and rites of passage camps allover Australia, and also works in schools, training teachers to make conversations about masculinity fun, engaging and meaningful for teenage boys, and giving parents the tools to get their boys talking.
Erin is a licensed counsellor who approaches perinatal mental health from a social justice feminist lens. She is known as the Feminist Mom Therapist on Instagram, where she validates the difficulties of mothering in a patriarchal society. She is also a cofounder of Therapists In Action, a collective of mental health professionals who advocate for social justice and liberation through education and community.
In this episode we discuss:
-The qualities a man who is living in alignment with being a family man would possess, and the cost to women who aren’t receiving these from their partner.
-How men are socialised to act in ways that are at odds with the way they must act asfathers, andoftenlacka blueprint of how to show up in this role.
-The evolution of what “providing” for your family means and what this truly entails today, and the importance of presence, emotional connection and safety.
-How to navigate conversations within relationships about this issue, and the importance of using “I” statements and noticing when your nervous system is flooded.
-The power of couples therapy, the reasons why men may resist it and the importance of men having support and spaces they can go to be vulnerable and share their experiences. This is such a rich conversation that I hope will leave you feeling less alone and empower men to redefine their roles as fathers and partners.
REFERENCED RESOURCES
-‘Fair Play’, by Eve Rodsky
-How Other Dads Dad’ –Podcast by Hamish Blake
You can find out more about Mike at the below places:
https://www.instagram.com/goodblokesco/
You can find out more about Erin at the below places:
https://www.erinspahrtherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/feminist.mom.therapist/